Giving feedback can be tricky, especially in the fast-paced environment of a commercial kitchen. Feedback is essential for growth and delivering it in a way that won’t affect a team member’s confidence is even more important. In many cases, it’s a balance between honesty and empathy.
Even in the most stressful situations, you should be able to give compassionate and constructive feedback. Still, we know it’s easier said than done when orders are rolling in, and everyone is focusing on their task to deliver the best service possible.
Since good and empathetic communication is one of the pillars of a positive kitchen, we’ve created a checklist that will help you find the best time and headspace to give feedback in a way that will enrich who’s receiving it.
7 Steps to Give Compassionate Feedback
1. Be in the right headspace
First and foremost, you should be in the right headspace for giving feedback. That means you should be grounded and not feel any kind of judgment or negative reaction to their behaviour. If this isn’t the case, take some time to breathe and connect with yourself before you start the conversation.
2. Find your why
Ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to provide feedback right now?’. Sometimes it’s hard to admit, but the reason for giving feedback might be self-serving, for example, to prove your skills or to react to behaviour you don't like. If your why comes from a place of insecurity or anger, take a step back and ground yourself, until you’re ready to give feedback only to encourage growth and learning.
3. Choose the right time and place
Timing is essential to give effective feedback. Ideally, you should give feedback as close to the behaviour or situation as possible, so that your employee can make the necessary improvements quickly and get back on track. On the flip side, you wouldn’t want to feedback in the middle of dinner rush, when the tension is already high.
Wait until things are calm and you can find a safe and private environment to give feedback. Esay Raia, chef at Casino Arizona, thinks a well-timed conversation can make all the difference in how your message is received and actioned: “Kitchen communication should always be upfront and clear. Say what needs to be said when it needs to be said, but make sure to always be respectful and professional.”
4. Focus on the actions and behaviours
One of the main mistakes you can make while giving feedback is to make it sound personal and directed at the employee and not their behaviour. Try to be direct but calm and compassionate.
Acknowledge what the problem is but be understanding and never make it a personal attack. Chef Fhred Batalona highlights the importance of empathy when giving feedback: “Be clear about what the problem is, but not in a mean way. People do not respond to aggressive communication. Be a good listener to understand how to convey information.”
You might also be interested in: How to Improve Communication in the Kitchen.
5. Listen actively
There are always two sides to the story to giving feedback, so it’s important you also listen to the other person’s perspective. Try to turn the feedback session into a conversation rather than a lecture.
Ask questions that will help you understand how your teammate is feeling about what you’ve just discussed and orient the conversation towards the future. By focusing on growth and development you’ll build an environment of transparency and trust.
6. Be proactive about finding solutions
One of the most compassionate things you can do when giving feedback is to focus on solutions, not just the problems. It’s easy to say what went wrong, but it’s more helpful to give the person tools to improve. Sit together and build a list of achievable goals and steps for improvement and ask for any extra help or tools the individual might need to progress.
Collaboration is essential to build trust and belonging within the team and will turn giving feedback into an impactful experience rather than a negative one.
7. Schedule follow up sessions
After you’ve established a growth plan, schedule regular check-ins that will help you both monitor the goal and adjust it with time. This also ensures the receiver can ask for further support if they need it. Following up on content and feelings will make the employee feel heard and valued.
Giving compassionate feedback doesn’t mean being soft or letting things slide. It’s about delivering honest, constructive criticism in a way that’s kind, respectful, and focused on helping people improve. The key is to lead with empathy, offer solutions, and always remember that your goal is to build a stronger, more efficient team—one that feels appreciated and empowered to do their best.
Get ready for your next feedback session with our 10-step Checklist to Give Compassionate Feedback, that you can download and print to make available to every member of your team.
